Oct 15, 2012

This Deployment is Almost Over

It's been 9 months, well almost 9 months. That is just too long to be apart from your spouse. It really stinks to go through it, but part of me is glad because I am so much stronger because of it. He comes home in just a few days and I have been an emotional roller coaster over the last week and a half.

The day he gave me an actually day and time of when he was arriving, well that day was rough. I cried off an on ALL.DAY.LONG. and of coarse I am so analytical, so I had to analyze the situation and I wanted to know what was wrong with me. Why was I crying. I was supposed to be happy not crying. But the more I tried to figure it out the more i cried. Weird. Part of me thinks that maybe all the pain I had been holding in from him being gone just came out in this rush of emotions and it was so overwhelming. Maybe it's fear of not knowing how things will be when he gets here. Fear of having to readjust. I know it was pure relief that I am almost done with the 9 months. That we survived it. That I was strong enough and I endured it. I overcame it without turning to alcohol or bad influences. I put my faith in the one true thing that helped me stand through the pain. I put my trust in God. In my Heavenly Father and I KNOW without Him, there is no way I would have made it. There were times when he carried me, then he put me down because he knew I was okay.

This time has given me a stronger faith because when I found out my husband was deploying God told me He had a plan and that my husband would be okay, that He would bring him back to me and I had an overwhelming sense of peace. I still had pain and sadness because he was leaving, but I knew in my heart that God was in control and I had to just accept it. I prayed for his safety constantly and put my trust in God's promise. I am so thankful for his protection and his peace.

If you are going through a deployment right now and your emotions are a mess, you are not alone. You are completely normal. Deal with the emotions and get on your knees before a Mighty God who loves you and wants to comfort you. He will make it okay. He did for me.

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